Hey ponies, Wanna be lean and mean?

Not anymore! With our newest invention, you can make millions of dollars to spend on all of our other products ABSOLUTELY FREE (plus shipping, handling, taxes, 90% of you monthly income, and a brand new car!).

This product is known to be top selling in Equestria WITHOUT BEING INTRODUCED THERE!$!$! This is assured to make us automatically gain your trust as we sell TOP OF THE ART martial for all your pony needs. Trotting, Trottling, Trolling, Thudding, Throttling, it does all that and MORE! This is for all your pony cooking (not actually cooking ponies, that's both illegal and just flat out stupid of a thing to do to such poor things, what will your parents have to say about what you did to your friends Scootaloo! Why do you have to be such a scapegoat to everything Scootaloo! And why is it we call you then, when clearly your real name is-

Still not interested in our product? Well screw you! You're getting charged for the thing cause we've sent a whole dozen by mail! It should be under the mat where we have stolen your keys, broken in and stole your 60' HDTV. And We'll only sell it back to you for 50% with any large meal purchase or 10 magic tricks (show us your best trick ever!).

WAIT DON"T CALL JUST YET! Order now all we'll throw all of your hard earn money into the fire to keep our derailed train continuing it's path from New York to Moscow! And You'll also get our top of the line, fresh off the conveyor belt.... G3.34X4 My Little Propane Playsets.... and CD's about how to get rich of of being offered G3.34X4 My Little Propain Playsets that comes with CDs for the same cause.

So what are you waiting for? Samsung to make this offer at half the price? Not going to happen cause we got phone numbers! Let's see you beat that Sony Vegas 15! Calls us @ 1-304-7777-7774-77432-7732LOLMAGICISALAIR Call us within the next 10 seconds and receive a nice bag of freshly grilled, frozen French Fries. YAY!

Warning: this tiny text is not meant to be read to make you not realize you're just falling into our scheme to steal money from your bank accounts while you "read" this advertisement, we will also be flooding your email accounts with horrible offers even worse then this one. You should also note by now that there was never a product, that was only a red herring... that's what a red herring is right?